The Fate
by kaijuu hime
Summary: AU. They say that you should be the master of your fate. But what if you're fated to choose only one of the two things you love the most and lose the other? A/N: this is my first fanfic. EVER. but i hope you'll like it... btw, totally OOC, Enjoy!


**A/N:** Lelouch and CC are totally OOC here, so I guess that means…

**Disclaimer:** Code Geass isn't mine... though I wish it is...

THE FATE

"_Daijobu desu ka?_Uhmmm... If you have a problem, maybe I can help you?" she asked.

_This girl, who does she think she is?_

She talks to me everyday like we're close friends, yet I didn't even know or remember her. From what I heard, her name is Cecaniah Clandestin, CC for short. _But... who is she?_ All I knew was she was the strange, intelligent girl whom everyone, _even_ the teachers, asked for advice. It's as if she's wise beyond her years by knowing things a high school student wouldn't.

But even though she's queer, she still gets a lot of admirers. What with her fair skin and long, straight blonde hair, that reaches her waist. Not to mention her sweet looking face composed of her thin pale lips that complements her eyes, the color of champagne yellow.

"Can you please leave me alone?" I asked, clearly irritated. When she didn't leave, I grabbed my bag and decided to head for the school building. But when I turned around, she was there again, right in front of me. _Fast reflexes, not bad._

"According to 'Barry,' "The bonds of home and family, if lost, by misfortune or sin, can never be restored. Nothing can adequately compensate for the loss of the love of a father or mother, of sister or brother; that is the sacred bond of life."

"What the hell are you talking about? I mean, I know you're the number one 'peer counselor' here, but… honestly, I don't need one of your smart talks right now. Got it? I've got a lot of things to do," I said as I turned to leave.

"I'm talking about your family. You always keep your distance. They always try so hard to let you know they love you but you seem to be numb. It's like they kept knocking on your door but you wouldn't budge to even know who was knocking."

"Shut up! Why don't _you_ just shut up? What do you know about me? You don't know anything, so leave me alone." And with that, I finally walked away.

"Lelouch Lancer, just always bear this in mind, you better act now, for tomorrow may be too late," she called after me.

"Hey, Lelouch!" It was Shirley Fenette, my best friend and _secret_ special someone.

"Hey, Shirley, where have you been?"

"From the gym. Gym classes just ended. Anyway, what were you doing with Cecaniah a while ago? I saw the two of you; you seemed to be in a heated argument."

"Well... the same old routine. Bothering me with her 'words of wisdom,'" I said as I air-quoted words of wisdom and let out a deep sigh.

"You know, why don't you try getting to know her? I mean she's nice, intelligent, and not to mention, beautiful too. She's perfect, can't you see that?"

"Yeah perfectly annoying," I said with a sneer. "I know she's your other best friend and all but I don't understand why you... no, erase that, why everyone's forcing me to_ remember_ her. I mean, do I have amnesia or what?"

"You really don't remember her, do you?"

"No. And what's the big deal. It's not as if she's vital thing so I could continue my existence... And isn't it obvious that she's giving off weird vibes because she greets everyone in Japanese..."

"Well, isn't it also weird that you're the only one calling her 'CC,' when everyone else calls her Cecaniah?"

"What do you mean? What about her Mom?"

"Her mom calls her Nia. Lelouch, can't _you_ remember, you gave her that nickname, and you forbade everyone else from calling her that way!"

"Shirley!" It was CC. I didn't notice her there. _How long has she been standing at the doorway?_ She slowly walked towards us. Then, she whispered something to Shirley, which made Shirley nod with a defeated expression and went to her seat.

"Lelouch, don't mind what Shirley said; it's nothing."

"It's all right. I don't understand it, so don't worry _Cecaniah_."

I noticed that CC looked shocked and sad at the same time then she looked away. "You know, you can call me CC if you want. I don't think there's something wrong about it."

"There _is_ something wrong about it. I don't want to call you in a _different_ manner because I don't want to give people the _wrong_ impression."

"O... kay... I'll see you later then."

I grunted in response and she went out of the room. _Sheesh... what a weird girl... wait... see you later? What was that about...?_

"I'm home," I said to no one in particular.

"Hi honey. How's school?" My mother came to the front door to welcome me home, _as usual and as expected_.

"Fine," I said. I continued to trudge towards the stairs when I noticed a mass of long, straight blonde hair in the study room. I was suddenly curious that I entered the study room. There, I found my brother and sister, Rolo and Nunnally with... CC?

"What are you doing here?" I asked, bewildered.

"_Onii-sama_, _onee-sama_ is our tutor," my younger sister, Nunnally answered.

"Onii-... Onee-... what are you talking about?"

"Translation: Big brother, big sister is our tutor. Onii-sama and Onee-sama means big brother and big sister in Japanese, respectively," Rolo explained.

"Tutor? Since when?"

"Since classes started."

"Why, big brother, you're the one who introduced her to us, don't you remember?"

"Nunnally …" CC said as she held Nunnally 's hand, "Lelouch, I hope you don't mind me teaching your siblings."

"Whatever… Do what you want. Beats me," I said then left.

The clock rang. It's Sunday, meaning, CC will at our house the whole day. Sigh… When I finally went out, I found CC, Nunnally , and Rolo playing in the front yard.

"_Onii-san_!" Nunnally called when she spotted me, ran to my direction, and gave me a hug.

"Okay, that's enough, you can let go of me now," I said as CC looked at me.

"Want to join us? We're playing tag," Nunnally asked.

"I thought you're their tutor, so shouldn't you be teaching them and _not_ playing with them?" I asked CC sarcastically. But she looked away instead.

"'All work and no play makes John a dull boy.' That's what _CC nee-chan_ told us. So we're playing for awhile," explained Rolo.

I grimaced at them then entered the house when suddenly…

"_Onee-chan_, does _onii-sama_ hate us?"

"Of course not Nunnally ..." CC answered soothingly.

"Well, he's different now. Before, he would always smile and play with me... but now, he's always frowning and doesn't like me anymore," Nunnally said, nearing to tears.

I didn't bother listen to them anymore though... Nunnally seems to be right. When I reached my room, I sat on my bed and thought about Nunnally's words.

"She seems to be right. But why did I change?... I feel like something's missing. Maybe it's someone, somebody," I said to myself as I stood up and peered at my window. There, I saw CC's smiling face.

"Could it be?" I asked myself... _No, I don't think so. But... they're so intent on making me remember her. Then again, maybe I'm wrong. How could someone who's completely annoying and gets on my nerves easily can complete me?_

I landed on my bed and as I closed my eyes, I drifted off to a dreamless sleep...

"Lelouch... Wake up..."

"Mom? Whaddya need?" I asked groggily as I sat on my bed and tried to wipe the sleep from my eyes.

"I'm sorry honey. It's late and Cecaniah's still here. I was wondering if you could take her home. There's no telling what kind of danger lurks in the night."

"Fine, fine... Where is she anyway?"

"In Nunnally 's room... I'll get her..."

"No... I'll get her myself."

"Okay, and thanks for the favor, dear," Mom said as she closed the door behind her.

I changed into my jeans and took a jacket, then I headed for Nunnally's room. When I opened the door, I saw CC combing Nunnally's hair. I cleared my throat and they both looked at me.

"_Nan desu ka, nii-sama_?"

Weirdly, I understood it. She said, _what is it, big brother?_"Cecaniah has to go home."

"Eh?" she exclaimed and looked at CC, "_Naze no desu ka? Mada yuka naide kudasai... Dozo..._"

_Why is it so? Don't go yet... Please..._ "She has to go; it's late. You'll see her tomorrow anyway."

"Okay, but come early," she said with a pout.

Cecaniah went out of the room with Nunnally trailing behind. When we reached the door, Nunnally tugged at my jacket and whispered, "Take her home safely, _nii-sama_." I nodded, then she let go and smiled.

"_Sayonara! Yojin nasai!_"

_Goodbye! Take care!_

The two of us walked in silence. But when we turned to a curb, CC asked me a question that both startled and puzzled me.

"How come you understood what Nunnally said?"

I tried to reason out, to lie that it was a lucky guess, but the truth escaped my lips. "I don't know. I don't really know how I understood her, I mean I don't speak Japanese like..."

"You tried to learn though. It seemed that you remember a part of the memory."

"What?" I asked as if she spoke in a language I could not comprehend.

"Nothing. Don't mind me," she answered.

_Ok, there she goes again, making my blood boil._ "Then shut up _Cecaniah_. Talking about nonsense..." I muttered. "Just leave me alone, will you?"

If she was taken aback by my answer, she didn't show it. We walked in silence again, this time, both of us in deep thought. When we reached her home, her mom, Aunt Maggie (she asked me to call her that way), invited me in for tea. I refused but she insisted so I gave in. While drinking tea, Cecaniah's grandmother came out of her room, sat on her rocking chair and, out of the blue, tells us a story.

"There was once a boy and a girl. They were gorgeous, intelligent, and good people, but both were full of pride. At first, they didn't really got along well. She was annoying, he, short-tempered. Yet, they can't hide the truth that they had fallen in love with each other almost instantly but pride tore them apart, leading them to fight with each other almost everyday of their lives..."

I noticed CC frown when she heard the first part of the story but she didn't say anything.

"The girl as I said was so intelligent that she had companies running after her to work for them. A certain company was very intent on using her intelligence that they would do anything to get her. Even if it meant harming her and the ones she love.

Nevertheless, it seemed that the Fates have a big plan for the two that they ended up walking the same alley that very night. Therefore, the goons strike just when the boy and girl were in an intense argument. In the end, the boy saved the girl and from then on, their relationship got better.

Finally, the boy had confessed his feelings and promised to give the girl anything she wishes and promised to protect her from then on. But it was that promise that placed his life in danger. The girl loving him completely made him promise to forget her and with that, she walked out of his life forever, or so she thought…" Grandma ended.

"And then?" I asked. I wanted to hear more. The story seemed so familiar it almost felt like a memory, like a part of me.

"The story isn't finished yet, it is up to you to finish it… Well, I need to take a rest. And so do you, Lelouch. Nia, why don't you take him to his usual room?"

"No thank you, Grandma, I didn't tell my parents that I'd be staying."

"Lelouch, it's late. You'd better stay here for the night. There's no telling what kind of danger lurks in the night."

I looked at Cecaniah, begging for help, but she just stared at me blankly. "Well, I guess I better stay."

"A wise decision," Grandma said. And CC motioned me to follow her. _Wait... did I hear right just awhile ago? The room I used to sleep in? Hell, I've never been here!_

When Grandma and Aunt Maggie was out of earshot, I asked CC, "What's with your family? You know, I don't want to insult them but why do they motion like I use to visit here? It looks weird. I mean, are you all on drugs or something?"

Instead of answering, she just shrugged. Then, she stopped in front of a door, opened it, turned on the lights, and ushered me in.

"This will be your room for the night. My room's next door. Knock if you need anything. _Oisumi, Lelouch-san._" And she closed the door.

_What is it with them? They're so weird. And Lelouch-san? What's with that. I mean, she could have called me... Wait, why am I bothered with what she calls me? I'm losing my mind..._ I thought as I drifted off to sleep and had a weird dream...

_Whew... what a dream... drat, today's Monday!_ _I still have to go home and I barely have time. I'll be late for sure._ When I scrambled out of bed, I found my things at the top of the dresser. _Wow, how'd those get here? _However, I didn't have time to think about it so I quickly fixed myself and went downstairs. There I found the CC having breakfast. I greeted her but she didn't seem to hear me.

"Ah Lelouch, you're awake. Come and have breakfast. Then you and Nia can walk to school together," Aunt Maggie said.

I ate my breakfast. Then CC and I walked to school in silence. This time, I was the one who broke it. "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?" she asked as she stopped walking and looked at me.

"Come on... Stop acting like you don't know anything. Last night, you ignored me... when I asked for help or when I asked questions. You also called me Lelouch-san instead of Lelouch-kun. This morning, I seemed to talk to the wall when I greeted you. What's with this snobbish act of yours?"

"You want to know why?" I nodded. "Because you're mean. To me, to your family, to those who care about you. And just because you don't want people having a wrong impression about us, you started calling me Cecaniah."

"That's it? Because of a name, you're doing this?"

"Just a name? Then why bother if I called you Lelouch-san? Besides you told me to stop bothering you. I'm just doing what you said, leave you alone." And she continued to walk.

I was taken aback by her reasons. Everything she said was the truth, so shouldn't I be happy that she's leaving me alone? But I feel so incomplete without her pestering. Finally, "Let's compromise, okay?"

She turned around. "What kind of compromise do you want?"

"Stop ignoring me."

"In exchange of what?"

"I'll call you CC again."

She looked hesitant at my offer.

"And I promise to do anything you want." _What was I thinking? Since when did I become this desperate? Yet there's no turning back._

CC suddenly looked pallid but she seemed to have regained composure easily. "There' s just three things I want you to do. First, value your family. Life is too short to take things for granted. They love you, can't you see that? So show them you love them too. Second, I feel so weird with you calling me Cecaniah, so can you call me CC again?" I nodded. "Lastly, confess to Shirley."

"Is that it?... Wait, how'd you learn about my feelings for Shirley?"

"I can read you like a big book Lelouch Lancer and you're pretty much obvious."

"Really?" I asked, shocked. She nodded. Then I remembered my dream last night. "Can I add another thing to the compromise? Can you tell me the nickname you gave me?"

She stopped in her tracks. "What nickname?" I sensed fear in her tone.

"The nickname you gave me. I felt that you gave me a nickname before. A name you intended for me, just like 'CC' that I've intended for you. It's funny because I got that feeling from a dream."

"How'd you know that you named me CC?" I sensed the fear building up.

"Shirley told me..."

"Oh... it's Lulu."

"Huh?"

"I've named you Lulu."

"Lulu, eh? Well, can you call me by that name again?" I asked as I held her hands in mine.

She nodded and I let go of her hands. As she walked past me, I sensed a smile forming upon her lips. Because of the time we took, we ended up being late and ran five laps. While running, I felt a sense of déjà vu.

Days passed by and I grew closer to CC. We were almost inseparable. She was a good friend, sister, tutor, and maybe even a conscience. With her help, I became a better person. A week flies by and it's Friday. I've decided to make my love confession so I mustered up my courage and looked for Shirley. I found her under a tree.

"Hey Lelouch, what's up?" she asked when I reached her.

"Shirley, there's something I need to tell you... "

"What is it?"

"Shirley... I... uhmm..." I cleared my throat and continued, "I like you."

"I like you, too. You're a good friend..."

"No, it's not that. I like you _more than_ a friend..."

"Are you... are you asking me out?"

"Yes?" I answered hesitantly.

"Lelouch... I'm sorry, I can't. It's not that I don't want to. I just _can't_..."

"Why?"

Shirley didn't answer me. She simply stood up and left. Then, my phone rang. It was a reminder: Dinner with family, 7:30pm, at SuBar97. Though I didn't feel like going, I had to or CC would reprimand me. So, I hurriedly looked for her but she was nowhere to be found. Then I remembered what she said that she'd be at the greenhouse after classes. I went to the greenhouse but when I entered it, I saw CC and Shirley. I hid behind the bushes and listened to them.

"Why didn't you say yes?" CC asked.

"You perfectly knew why. You're the ones intended for each other."

_So CC was the reason why Shirley rejected me!_

"You're the only one who believes that. Besides, you love him too. You don't have to sacrifice for me, because he has long forgotten me."

"He's forgotten you 'cause you've asked him to do so and he can't do anything because of a stupid promise he made."

_A promise?.. Suddenly, I remembered a voice of a girl sobbing asking me to do something for her._

"I don't want to talk about it. Please reconsider Lulu's feelings."

"See, you're calling him Lulu again... There's still a chance for the both of you. Why did you ask him to forget you?"

"It's for the betterment of everyone."

"Really? Are you feeling better then?"

"YES! At least now, he doesn't have to worry about me. He wouldn't be involved in fights and his life would never be in danger again."

I ran out of the greenhouse. My mind was racing. I didn't understand what they were talking about. It sounded so familiar yet so strange, and it seemed to break my head the more I listened. I ran till my knees gave away.

I was at the seashore and the moon was up. Seeing no one around, I shouted out my frustrations to the world. After that, I felt better and decided to go home. When I reached the house, it was dark and empty. I let myself in, changed my clothes, and sat in the living room where I fell asleep. It was past eight o' clock when a phone call awoke me.

"Hello, Lelouch... are you watching the news?" It was Aunt Maggie.

"No, why?" But I turned the TV on. It was a flash report. I saw a white van... _our_ van. Then I saw dead people on stretchers... I recognized them... It was my family. I tried to process what I was seeing and read the caption below: A FAMILY, DEAD ON THE SPOT UPON A CAR ACCIDENT. With that, the phone slipped from my hands...

It was the second day of the wake yet I couldn't believe what I saw. Aunt Maggie was the one who prepared everything that was needed. I saw CC during the last day.

"Lulu..." She places her ice-cold hands upon my shoulder. _She's afraid and nervous_, I suppose.

I was so mad at her. She was the reason for all of this mess. I turned to lash my anger upon her but when I saw her sweet face, all my anger went down the drain. All I saw was the face of an angel, a friend. We hugged each other tightly, sharing unspoken words of pain and affection.

The burial took place the next day. Everyone was there to console me. After the burial, CC took me to the seashore.

"Why'd you bring me here?"

"I have a lot of memories here..."

"Like what?"

"It's a secret... Do you miss them?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Pretty much..."

"Do you hate me?"

"No, it wasn't your fault they died."

"If you had a choice, would you go back in time to save them?"

"Yes I would…"

"Then come with me, I'll help you get them back."

I was puzzled by her remark but chose not to ask. She took my hand and led me to their house, down to their basement. What I saw inside that room amazed me. At the center was a weird-looking machine.

"That is a time machine. I finished building it yesterday. Luckily, it works."

"Is that the reason why you're always in danger?" I asked remembering her conversation with Shirley.

She looked alarmed but nodded. "Well, you can get them back now. Go on in."

There was something in her tone that told me to stay. She sounded so sad like she was nearing to tears. But I wanted my family back so I opened the door to the machine.

"Wait!" CC called, while rummaging through a pile atop a table. "Here, take this," she said as she placed around my wrist a silver bracelet with an inscription:

_Forget me not_

"What's this for?"

"Just something to let you remember me by…"

"We'll still see each other, don't worry."

"Yeah…"

Then she hugged me tightly. It felt like it was the last time I'll ever hug her so I don't want to let go.

"You have to go now," she whispered then pulled away.

With that, I entered the machine…

"_Daijobu desu ka? _Uhmmm... If you have a problem, maybe I can help you?" she asked waking me up with a start.

"Can you please leave me alone?" I said patiently. When she didn't leave, I grabbed my bag and decided to head for the school building. But when I turned around, she was there again, right in front of me.

"According to 'Barry,' "The bonds of home and family, if lost, by misfortune or sin, can never be restored. Nothing can adequately compensate for the loss of the love of a father or mother, of sister or brother; that is the sacred bond of life."

_Wait, this feels like it has happened before…_

I was so freaked out that I walked away immediately.

"Hey, Lelouch!" It was Shirley.

"Hey, where have you been?"

"From the gym. Gym classes just ended. Anyway, what were you doing with Cecaniah a while ago? I saw the two of you; you seemed to be in a heated argument."

"Well... the same old routine, bothering me with her words of wisdom. But it's so weird; it feels like it has happened before."

"Like a sense of déjà vu?"

"Yeah…" I answered as I placed my head on my hands. Then I saw something glimmer around my wrist. I rolled down the sleeve of my jacket and there I saw, was a silver bracelet. I checked it and the inscription was there.

"It wasn't a dream… it was all real…"

"What did you say?" Shirley asked.

"Nothing…" I answered as I smiled.

Remembering my mission and promise to CC, I lived the rest of the days fixing the wrongs I've made and everything was better and made me realize and understand a lot of things.

Then came the day my family was supposed to die. I looked for CC and found her inside the greenhouse.

"Hey…"

"Lulu! So how did it go?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Weren't you going to confess to Shirley?"

"No, I changed my mind. I realized after some time that it was only a mild admiration. Nothing too serious or deep."

"But…"

I sat down beside her and kissed her cheek.

"Lulu…"

"Thank you. Thank you for everything CC…" I said and smiled. "Well, I've got to go. We're having dinner out tonight." Then I stood up.

"That's great progress…"

"And it's all thanks to you." CC smiled and I left. I immediately went to the restaurant to meet y family. But I was a bit early. Then, my family came, and they were all happy to see me, especially Nunnally . After dinner, we had our bonding time: shopping, playing…

It was at Marty's that we saw CC and Aunt Maggie. Weirdly, our families seem to know each other very well, though I'm sure they've never met. Mom and Aunt Maggie seem to chat for hours. Dad looked at stuff at Marty's. Nunnally and Rolo got bored that they played tag inside the store for which they were reprimanded.

It was past seven o' clock when CC and Aunt Maggie left. After awhile, we also decided to go home. As we were cruising the busy streets, we saw a car that had crashed to a post… It was the Clandestin's car! We stopped by and helped the paramedics. Aunt Maggie was badly wounded and so was CC but she managed to smile when she saw me then she lost consciousness.

It was Sunday. We were at the Clandestin's to pay respect. Aunt Maggie survived but CC… CC died upon arriving at the hospital. I felt responsible for her death, like it was my fault why she's dead. I did my best to go down to their basement unnoticed but all my efforts we're in vain. I wanted to get to the time machine to get her back. I only found my chance the day after CC was buried.

When I entered, I was shocked. The machine was ruined.

"Why… how…"

"Lelouch… what are you doing here?" It was Grandma.

"Grandma, the time machine…"

"It's a shame isn't it? That it's not finished.

"Not finished?"

"Yes, Nia would've been able to finish it yesterday."

_Yesterday. She was buried yesterday. It was also the day that my family would have been buried. The day she showed me the machine._

"Weird as it may seem. It's like Nia knows her fate. She asked me to give this letter to you today."

I took the letter and Grandma left me alone to read it.

_Dear Lulu,_

_I hope you're doing fine. If ever you feel responsible for what happened to me, don't. I feel great that I was able to help you. To at least compensate for all the pain and troubles I've put you through._

_You may be puzzled why I died. Honestly, the day that I finished the time machine and tried it, I learned of what would become of me if you're family would be saved. And I accepted it. Fate doesn't like being fooled. It exacts a high price from those who defy her. That's why she took my life. Fate is being unconsciously aware of one's future without being brave enough to infer it. The future is known long before it is ever comprehended. Many intuitions are called but few are recognized. In fact, the irony of tragedy is that we often bring it about by being made unaware of it._

_If ever your memories are back. I want to say sorry for asking you to forget me when you were unconscious; it was the only way that I thought of so you'd be safe. It was also easier that way because your subconscious mind was highly sensitive to your surroundings and I know that you'll do what I asked of you. I also want to say sorry for putting you to a whole lot of new troubles._

_Always remember, I will wait for you. I love you and I always will._

_CC_

"She sacrificed herself for me…" I concluded as I stood up and looked at the mess atop her working table. I fixed the pile and segregated it. At the very bottom, I found a photo album and a silver necklace. I opened the album and found a lot of pictures… our pictures…

Suddenly, a flash of events run through my mind. The day CC and I really met… the constant fights… the night I saved her… the day I gave her the necklace I'm holding in my hands... the day we christened each other with the names CC and Lulu… the day I confessed to her… the numerous brawls I've gotten in to save her… and her voice wishing something…

_Lulu… you promised to do everything I asked you, didn't you. Then I wish for you to forget me… Forget everything about me…_

As her voice fades into oblivion, all the memories came rushing back and flooded my mind. The girl I truly loved, the one I treasured, the person I needed, the missing piece of me, the girl erased from my memories… it was CC after all…

"You're unfair… you left me all alone here without telling me who you really are…" I said, tears rolling down my face. "But I guess, I was the stupid one… I didn't realize everyone's efforts in helping me remember you…"

_She had sacrificed herself for me. And I can't do anything now but to grieve for this is my fate…_

A/N: Well, that was really sad… Unfortunately… I don't think I can continue this since… well, CC is dead, I don't think I want her to be resurrected or come back as a ghost… Well, that's all…


End file.
